So now you know….
A massive transformation has been happening in my life. Next month will be the one year anniversary of THAT… you know. How can that possible? My daughter turns 8 next week. We all remember what happened when she turned 7. I know I do. But I’m ready. I’m stepping up and being present in my life.
Here is a question. How many of us feel worthy of happiness? Do you feel like you deserve the goodness life has to offer? How about success? This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I would have never thought I could personally be successful at anything, and yet, look at what I am doing. I have new passion, drive and a VOICE. I am not allowing myself to be the victim of my circumstance. I’m creating my own path. Even though it is rough and treacherous at times, it is also full of opportunity and promise. I am shouting to the world – NO MORE – no more huge obstacles. Just bumps in the road that I navigate and put behind me. Because it is MY choice whether the problems become mountains that are too impossible to climb. Now, they are small hills that I fight (and sometimes crawl) my way to the top just so I can enjoy the view on the way back down. reconfirming the fact it is all a CHOICE! My goodness, there are problems everywhere! Why let them consume me when there is beauty everywhere as well? There is hope, success, triumph, laughter, happiness, and JOY everywhere! But one thing I have learned on this journey. Not everyone is ready for happiness. Not everyone feels worthy of happiness. And that is okay too. We all have our own journey to traverse. Everyone is at a different point in their life and the one thing that I can give to everyone is the ability to make their choices and let them know that I understand.
So lets recap. I fell off a balcony. I got run over by a car. I almost drowned … twice. And almost got divorced … twice. I was hospitalized 5 times in 18 months. I have endured 7 surgeries. And … I died.
Then I got the opportunity most never get. To see my life for the mess that it was, pick myself up and decide to stay. To brush myself off and begin to fight for my family. To fight for mental clarity. To fight to overcome my addictions. To fight for the right to be happy. And I have learned that even when I feel sorry for myself or I get mad and frustrated – it doesn’t change the fact that I am still a child of God. That I still have worth. That I can wake up the next day and make a different choice, brush off the past and be Present! And can do it all again the next day and the day after that. Wake up, let go of yesterday and move on.
Wow. That felt like a huge lecture of sorts. But it feels good to get out.
Back to me wanting to be an Attorney. Case in point: I like to learn. I like to read. And I LOVE to research. Which is why I probably would have made a really great Lawyer. But I’m not a Lawyer (but I still can be if I want…)
Currently I work for a company whose mission is to empower and motive women. I get to connect with people that I would have never met in 100 years. I get to influence and change lives for the better, just as much as they change mine for the better as well. When I first started working I stayed up non stop for about 30 hours reading every single bit of information I could get my hands on. My long time incurable insomnia became my friend. When something peaks my interest it gets really hard to turn my brain off. The company has about 10 Facebook groups and so I read every post and comment in every group going back at least 6 months. I like to know things, just for the sake of knowing it. I became passionate again.
But this gets me in trouble all the time because I get caught up in the tiny minutia of the hows and the whys. Living in my brain sometimes is a complete nightmare. The technology we have today is such a massively huge blessing BUT a curse for the way my brain works. Which is why I constantly have to re-evaluate my choices and attitude. And usually make a lot of apologies. Lately I have been trying really hard to surround myself with the most positive people I can find. Because I want to be built up every single day. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Without the community of positive people around me, there is no way I would be able to do my job, because you can’t lift someone up higher when you feel low yourself.
So I have a challenge for everyone. Find ONE thing you can do TODAY that will help you live in the present. I have noticed that when I am helping others – the further away my troubles go and the more present I become. The faster I forget my sorrows, the more I can remember that I am worthy of happiness. So if there is nothing at all you takeaway from this post but this:
YOU (yes, you!) are worthy of happiness!!
And no one is getting in your way from feeling that joy BUT you. SO get out of your way! Let the rays of the sun hit your face! Feel the power and joy from making your own happiness.
Eye Opening Honesty 