Why I Left Younique

** Everything written here is based upon my own personal experiences. All opinions are my own.**

What is done in the dark always finds its way to the light.

If you have never been in direct sales you may not understand this post. That’s okay. Just come back next week to read how Seth and I met. It is such a fun story.

Back to business. I started writing this post a few weeks ago with a specific intention. I wanted to document my first experience in the world of Direct Sales. What I loved, what I didn’t. What I wish I would have done better and the positive changes I can make going forward. I had decided to leave Younique months ago. LimeLight just happened to come along at the perfect time with better products at better prices. I actually vowed to never join another direct sales company after my experiences with Younique, but I couldn’t pass up the incredible opportunity to work closely with one of my best friends again. She was the one who inspired me to start writing this blog. She is my soul sister, my partner in crime. I feel very blessed to learn and grow in the LimeLight community with her. I am also incredibly grateful to get the opportunity to make a fresh start.

Please know I never had any intention to write THIS. I really thought I would let it go and try to move on….

But then I started to see friends around me that left Younique bullied and harassed. I saw grown women tear each other apart. I saw top leaders making hateful videos in their training groups vilifying other women who were just trying to make a positive change for themselves and their families. Lies started being spread to undermine their credibility. Can you even imagine that all of this chaos stemmed from a decision to leave a cosmetics company that no longer provided a positive experience? I’m pretty sure it is an okay thing to do. Things change for people all of the time and you have to learn to adapt.

Watching all the hatefulness was a wakeup call. The shame, lies, misunderstandings. Then the coverups. I have seen some of the most ugly things this last month on social media. I don’t know in any other profession where this type of bullying would be tolerated. And yet in the Younique community that I experienced it is pervasive. I honestly can’t wrap my mind around it. It is heartbreaking for me that people are scared. Scared to leave a direct sales company!! Does that even make sense? I have people scared of the backlash and of being bullied. The messages I get from women in this exact position make my heart hurt. But the sad fact is they aren’t wrong. Those of us that have been with the company for years and were high in the ranks or have a big following ARE experiencing those exact things. I personally know of 10 people right now who have quit, but are scared to tell anyone because of their rank within Younique.

Much of the shame game they played for those of us that left the company was that only ‘losers’ quit. They made Periscope videos about it. And this all came from some of the top leaders at the company. They began to engage in passive aggressive bullying in their posts on Facebook. It was painful to watch.

Younique did provide me with an outlet for a while. It gave me confidence. It made me happy. I moved up in the ranks really fast to the second highest status in the company. And then things changed. People changed. Products changed. Which meant I had to make a change. I no longer felt like I could stand behind the company or its products with honesty and integrity.

 “If you are physically able to work from your phone then there are no excuses. Even if you are in a crazy accident and lost all your fingers, you can still figure out how to voice chat. I’m tired of people telling me that, ‘Oh, I’m in the middle of a big move. Oh, I just had a baby. Oh, my dad just died. Oh, my marriage is ending.’ Those are personal. You can take a few days off. But separate your personal from your business. If you don’t work your business you are hurting your family and others. No excuses.”

This was a statement made by one of the top leaders in the company a month ago. I personally believe in leadership not dictatorship. If that is what it takes to be successful then I guess I don’t want success. I don’t ‘Bleed Purple’. My family comes first. My faith comes first. And I would never ask anyone to “bleed” for a company.

Do I regret joining Younique? No. Do I wish I had handled some of the challenges better? Of course. The company exploded overnight and it was really hard to keep up with the hyper growth. We had minimal training. In fact we had to build our own. But without Younique I would not have gained the skills necessary to move on and be successful in so many different areas of my life.

Younique’s Mission:

Uplift. Empower. Validate.

People crave validation so I understand why it would be part of the mission statement. But it is something that I never experienced there. I was ignored and dismissed by my leaders, by Corporate. When I had concerns I was told to just “be positive.” If you ever had a question or concern you could not ask it in the team groups without it getting deleted. I understand not letting negativity breed more negativity. But concerns need to be addressed and dealt with. Not shoved under the rug never to be discussed again.

The positive in all this is that through these struggles I have been Empowered to find my voice and speak my truths whether good or bad. I have learned what it means to feel truly Uplifted. And I understand the value of Validation in all areas of my life.

So many of you will have no idea what I am even talking about. Your experience with Younique will be no where near what mine and others was. That is okay! I am truly grateful that is the case for you.

In fact when I first joined Younique, I was over the moon excited! I was going through some really difficult and intense things at home and it was the perfect way to feel part of something bigger and it gave me chance to join a community of remarkable women.

I gained friends who (for the most part) loved and supported me. The 3D Fiber Mascara was AH-mazing! The skincare line of Awake Face Wash and Brilliant Moisturizer was flying off the shelves because they worked so well. These were three phenomenal products that I could sell in my sleep! It truly was the best.

***AT THE TIME***

First, they decided to get rid of Awake and Brilliant and replace them with other products. They added fragrance and other ingredients that would never be considered “naturally based” which for me is a big problem because I am sensitive to everything. We were never made aware that it was such a drastic change.

But let’s talk for a minute about the “Magic Mascara”.

The 3D Fiber Lash Mascara is what put Younique on the map. It is their flagship product and their #1 best seller. This summer the company decided to change the formula of our famous mascara by inventing an entirely new product that they called 3D+. They made it this “epic” announcement that said they had been working on this formula for 18 months and truly felt they had perfected it.

So I got my set of 3D+ and I had already heard mixed reviews. I figured it couldn’t be that bad though right? Well, wrong. It was horrible. And don’t assume I didn’t try to make it work. I went through 7 different sets of 3D+ all from different batches with the same result. It made my eyelashes hard and brittle and my eyes would get extremely irritated. I have VERY sensitive eyes which I why I gravitated toward Younique in the first place. They always advertised how natural the products were. I could actually wear mascara for the first time in 2 years with the regular 3D.

Yet Corporate ignored our complaints. Top leaders told us to keep quiet and stay positive. And then months later made excuses and said they were going to “work on” the formula. I personally am still getting complaints to this day. Anyway… Start doing your own research. The information is out there. They reformulated almost all of the products. Check the past ingredients against the current ones. And even after almost 6 months and “fixes” to the 3D+ I still cannot get it to work.

My mom has been my biggest supporter and cheerleader throughout my Younique career. She loves the products and so I had her try the 3D+ and she had the same experience as me. She also went through 4 different sets and had to fight with Customer Support through email to get new ones sent out to see if she could get better results. There was never an improvement and she went back to using drugstore mascara.

Some may or may not have noticed around August that I completely stopped working my business. I felt I could not ethically sell this product to my customers and friends and still sleep at night. But most importantly, I didn’t want anyone to join my Younique team under false pretenses about this “amazing” mascara and products, so I stopped offering this opportunity to anyone. I even discouraged it.

Since you are reading this I want you to be aware of something. There is risk in speaking out. Women that have left Younique have been threatened with lawsuits by the owners of the company so I have been careful with what I write. Literally everything I have written here can be backed up with screenshots or videos. I’m not naive. I currently have 2200 screenshots saved and cataloged documenting the events over the last two years. But especially over this past month with all the disturbing things that happened.

There are so many more truths I could share. I wish I could tell you everything. For those that have experiences similar to mine, you know what I shared is just the tip of the iceberg. I think you all would be really curious to know what happens after you leave the Younique world. Especially how you are treated by Corporate and those people still within in the Younique bubble. Those stories will come to light eventually. Truths don’t remain buried for long. I honestly hope everything gets worked out and somehow the culture at Younique will change. I have many amazing friends that I still love and support there. Please know I will always be here to cheer you on no matter where life takes us.

 

Wishing you Love and Light,

xoxo – Kristin

If you haven’t read my other blog posts that I wrote the past few years you should start. Don’t make judgments about me without taking a moment to understand the full story. I have laid my soul to bare on these pages without one regret. I cover sexual abuse and rape, traumatic brain injury. mental illness, divorce, struggling with motherhood. And who can forget … falling off a balcony and a few months later being run over by a car. This is my very first post talking about Younique so obviously I found it important enough to share next to those other difficult topics.

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Bullying and the Mob Mentality

First I want to welcome all my new blog readers! This is a very personal blog and I write with complete honesty about situations I have experienced. It is the only way that I can survive. And thank you so much for all the kind messages I have received the last few days!

So, in going back through my blog I have 4-5 drafts, but I haven’t published a post since January. No wonder my life has felt so off-balance lately. My blog has become a place of healing and growth. I have missed it and the clarity it provides.

There has been so much change recently that I need to backtrack and get my blog caught up to the present. This is probably a really great thing because it will help me take a big deep breath and gain some perspective on the things that are currently happening. Maybe going back to other experiences will help me not write things I may regret. Perspective is never a bad thing. But, yes, that blog post halfway done and it will be published. 

So join me and let’s dig back in the chaos and fill in the gaps. My last post was in January, so I am going to start there. Want to know something crazy? The only way that I can remember and differentiate parts on my life is through the pictures in my phone. It is my official memory jogger. My brain has an amazing way of protecting itself from painful events, but pictures always tell the story.

Right at the end of January I experienced something incredibly painful. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to deal with this once I became an adult.

Cyber Bullying

It was really ugly. I hadn’t felt that vulnerable and scared in a long time. For those that have read previous posts, you know that I have a history with years of bullying and abuse when I was young. I was really shocked that at the age of 34 I would be dragged in to that madness again. I try hard to insulate myself from outside influences, but you can’t control everything or the way people feel. The interesting thing is that these were women much older than me, threatening me with pictures of guns and violence. Seriously? They threatened to come to my home and physically harm me. They knew where I lived. It was absolutely insane and incredibly scary. Honestly, my brain still has a hard time comprehending the entire experience.

Why do people think that putting these horrible things online for the world to see is okay? Do they think that somehow the pain and hurt they are causing is not as cruel if they are doing it in texts, posts or comments on Facebook? Maybe it doesn’t feel as real to them.

I’m going to add a few of the images to my blog that “they” posted on Facebook, only because I want you to see what the face of bullying looks like online. Sorry about the language. I may remove these later depending on how I feel about it tomorrow. And of course, these don’t contain the entire post or the 50+ comments. It got ugly fast.

EDIT: So one of the people I am writing about in this blog post apparently still stalks me. How unfortunate that she wastes her time on something so negative. She has a complaint against me via WordPress that I am in the process of appealing. That is why one of the graphics is not viewable.

The really interesting thing was the reaction from the people who knew about the situation and why it started. When I showed them what was happening, there wasn’t even a “Wow. That is really messed up.” Their reaction made me feel like I deserved the abuse. In my mind I must be horrible if people are talking about me the way they were, right? I don’t know if that feeling makes sense to you unless you have experienced this type of harassment first hand. I felt an overwhelming sense of shame.

The Mob Mentality

Now that we have covered a little of what happened earlier this year, I want to talk about the Mob Mentality. Because when they posted these pictures, friends of theirs who had NO information whatsoever on the actual situation started chiming in. Of course right?Because hatred is contagious when they “perceive” an injustice. First off, bullying and the mob mentality is a dangerous combination. It can quickly spiral out of control because it fuels the bully’s ego and makes them more confident now that their hatred has been validated by their peers. Social media has become the biggest bully pulpit in the world. Could they say those exact same words in person? Or is it only because they have the comfort of a screen and hundreds of miles between us?

In my blog post called “Growing Pains” I talked about my experiences as a teen with bullying. What I didn’t talk about was what happened years later when I talked with a guy who joined in with THE crowd. He laughed along with the others and here is his reason why. He told me that he didn’t want to become the focus of their hate, so he felt like he had to go along with it. No, he didn’t like what was happening to me, but he didn’t think his voice alone was strong enough to stop it.

I understand the fear of being left behind or placed in the bully’s crosshairs. It’s absolutely human nature for us to want to go along in order to be included in the group. There is safety in numbers and it’s never fun to be unpopular. I know that first hand. I was bullied, harassed and generally made to feel like I existed just for a certain group of classmates’ amusement. It has made me a paranoid person who still feels anxiety in certain social situations. In writing this post I have decided that I actually have an issue with the term “bullying.” It projects an image of teasing and/or whispering behind each other’s backs. In fact, bullying is more physical violence, sexual humiliation and deeply personal attacks.

I want to be part of a group that is loving, hard working, accepting and won’t tolerate hate in any form. Call it naive, but that is my hope for the future of our human race. Revenge is not the answer. It only adds fuel to the fire. I’m talking about extinguishing the fire by teaching others how to be brave enough to stand up to a bully, and not go along with a crowd when it means giving up your humanity in order to be included. Who wants to carry that type of burden and guilt?

I will be talking a lot in my upcoming blog posts about the Power of Validation. I have only learned about this recently and it has been a game changer in my relationships. If you are ever in a situation where you don’t know what to say to someone who is struggling or in pain, then find a way to validate their feelings. I will give really great examples in a different post. But one of the best, is

“Wow. I can’t even begin to imagine how hurt you must be feeling right now. That must be incredibly painful to have them post those horrible things about you to the public.”

Part of validation is restating what they told you by using simple and precise language so they know you were listening. Do NOT ask if they are okay. Do NOT ask how you can help. Just validate their experience whether you understand it or not. It might sound simple, but it is truly powerful and can quickly deescalate a situation. People want to know they have been heard. That is why you don’t tell them that you know how they feel, because it minimizes their feelings. It takes practice. If you want to know more about validation, click here.

Fun Fact: Validation is one of the core skills of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. (The greatest form of therapy on the planet!)

xoxo,

Kristin