The Hardest Thing

This post has been sitting here waiting to be published for about 3 months. It is very personal and I’m really having a hard time finding all the correct words. When I first started writing it, there was this glorious feeling inside my heart. I want you to feel that glorious feeling I did, and so it has taken me a long time to put everything together. But most important of all, this post is for me. I like read by blog all the time. Sometimes to find clarity, other times to find and correct mistakes. But this is one of those posts that I need to read when the world comes against me and tries to tear me down.

Okay, lets start and see where this goes.

If you can, imagine yourself before you came to this earth. Imagine all the things you were able to do and learn. The peace, the calm, the love. You developed talents and relationships. Eventually, you matured enough to make important decisions. Like the choice you made to come to this earth to be tested and challenged in every way possible.

I have a really easy ability to connect with my inner soul when I need to. When I become in tune, I feel my inner Spirit and the amazing power that she holds. The body she is in isn’t perfect. It is damaged. But some days she still finds a way to let her inner spark shine.

Okay. Now I really want you to think about this. Because this is what I know:

I am part of God’s army. I am one of His strongest Warriors. So are you – you just might not have realized it yet. My Heavenly Father has sent me to this earth with tools to survive. There are talents we nurtured before we came to this earth. We need to discover every single one and let them grow far and wide. As God’s Warrior we have a divine purpose and he is counting on us to do our part.

Have you connected enough with your inner Spirit to understand your divine purpose? I have. I lose myself a lot. I forget how truly great I am. But I know what I am here to do. I have many skills I have honed in learning to survive and traverse on Satan’s Playground. We are battling in enemy territory and it is a fight and a struggle for us each day. But you know what? I have a knockout punch in my corner AT ALL TIMES. We all do. No where does it say that Satan wins. No where. He is a big old bully but his day will come. And it is coming fast. Do you realize what the world has become? I try and tune it out and just put my head down and work. It is so painful to watch. But there is hope. We see remarkable acts of service and sacrifice. We are able to find moments of joy in a baby’s first laugh or smile. These are the precious gifts our Heavenly Father has given to us to remind us of where we came from. That evil will not win.

Something else I understand and hopefully this concept make sense. Without opposition, there would be no happiness, without change we wouldn’t grow, and if we never grew then what is the point of suffering?

Pain has Purpose.

Without my intense experiences and the pain and sorrow I felt, I wouldn’t know the joy to finally be at peace. And I wouldn’t be able to write these words.

I am a deep thinker. I like to ask the hard questions that have no answers here on this earth. Sometimes I think that my own brain knows that not big enough to comprehend what I want to know. I need to understand everything. I want all the answers now.

My blog is a no judgement zone. Here is what I know.

Seth and I knew each other before we came to this earth. The first time I sat by him chills ran up my spine. I knew I loved him in that instant. I have never felt anything so powerful and overwhelming. Pure joy. My daughters that I have been blessed with on this earth are greater than me in every way. They teach me things I would have never known. They love me unconditionally and my damaged spirit craves their understanding. I honestly imagine that they were some of my closest friends in my life before. Next thought. I chose this life. I agreed to everything I have experienced. I prepared myself with tools and talents to survive the test my Heavenly Father has given me. My failures move me forward not back. When I fail it means I am trying. That I haven’t given up. HE blesses me when I fall. And picks me back up so I can try again.

You might not understand this or think I’m crazy for believe this, but I think in the afterlife we will live again on other worlds with each other. If we are continually striving to learn more, then how else must it be done but through experience. We may not have the opposition of Satan in these places but we still need to grow. We definitely won’t be singing in choirs for eternity. We have so much more to do. We all have greatness inside of us. Beautiful, glorious greatness. How exciting and wonderful is that?

We will go home and be heroes for surviving. These are the last days. We are one of the greatest generations to ever live on this earth. Every generation that comes after us will be greater than the one before. The challenges they face will be harder, but they are ready. They are stronger and more capable. There is an equal and opposite reaction in all things. One of God’s laws. Don’t worry. The greater the world falls into darkness and chaos, the greater the righteous Warriors sent to this Earth will be. Equal and Opposite. The Power God is sending to this earth to battle Satan’s destruction is more amazing than we will ever know.

Do you think what I’m saying has any merit? Personally I’m not worried of peoples opinions. I just want to open your minds to think about greater things than just the challenges of this life. Start being the Greatness that God has given your inner spirit. Find that connection. Be still. Listen. Let the truth wash over you. Discover what you believe. And then share that light with the world.

xoxo,

Kristin

It isn’t About Me

So this is continued from a post on Facebook, which I have never done before, but there are too many things I want to say and I need you to be able to read this at your own pace. So here was how my FB post started … and then I will continue on writing from here.

I just had a big life changing Oprah AH-HA moment! Bear with me as I write this. I’m mean really, thank goodness that the Universe likes to keep me in check. I wrote a post on Sunday on Facebook, kind of lashing out at people who I feel won’t try to open themselves up to understand me and my illness. Especially after I have reached out and helped them  through so many life problems because of my unique perspective that my illness has taught me. I had this big feeling come over me that even though I took it very offensively…

It wasn’t about ME.

I absolutely needed to remove myself from the equation.

Then other things started to happen. First, I started writing a new blog post. Then I got a notification from Momastery. Glenn Doyle Melton (who writes Momastery) is my Warrior Guide who says everything I wish I could say, only better.

Somehow through a series of events I ended up on Momastery.com and was watching THIS YouTube video with Glennon that I hadn’t seen before. You should watch it right now so we can all experience this light shining moment together! It is only 5 minutes! Do it!

Welcome back. Did that hit you hard like me? Oh my goodness, it was BEAUTIFUL!! Make you want to hear more from her? Well, it did for me. So then finally, I searched her on YouTube and found a rarely viewed video she did for her sorority this year that is AMAZING.

This is what caused my ah-ha moment.

And maybe it is just me that needed to hear it today, but I think you need to hear it too.

This is something you can listen to without actually watching the screen. Turn it on this morning as you get ready or go through your emails, whatever. Take the time. It is worth it. Listen to every word. Let it fill your soul.

Personally, I learn best by taking notes when I’m listening to important things in life. Then I watch it again. Take more notes. Then repeat. I copied my notes to this post so I could better share this with you and to help articulate my points. Here is the video, and what follows are my notes and interpretations.

The theme of where she was speaking was “Our time to Shine”. So she wanted to know, If we are all the same, then why is it that some people shine so bright they can light up the entire room? What is so different?

She made a list of people that SHINE to her, and the common trait is that they all have Purpose and Peace. Purpose and Peace = Joy. And Joyful women are the women who shine. They have absolutely nothing in common, but they all do the same things each day. Little disciplines in their life that they do that result in Joy.

1. Relentless Eliminators of Poison in their Lives. (Coal Miners and Canary example). They know what the poisons are in their lives and they get rid of them. Period. Eliminate toxic relationships. One of the awesome, best things of being a grown up is you don’t have to have friends you don’t like. You can gently let them go. It is much kinder to let them go gracefully, then to hold them close and hate them. Because that is poison. JUST let them go. Liberate both of you. Sometimes you can’t get rid of every person or habit in your life, but you must make boundaries around them. You can love and find the beauty in almost any human being as long as there are firm boundaries in place. (Steel bars).

2. Women who shine are really really good listeners to themselves. They make it a priority to daily find a time of “quiet”. And they only take orders from the voice they hear in the quiet. When the voices get too crazy, sit down, be still, take a deep breath and listen to whatever guides you. “You are enough, all is well.” Wisdom is always speaking in the same volume to every single person. but people that shine are the ones that are quiet enough to hear it. We think they are making incredible decisions and we think they are so lucky, it is just that they became quiet enough to hear what is being said.

3. Souls not Roles. If we only identify completely in our ROLES it can be extremely dangerous. What happens when our kids leave this home or heaven forbid pass away. What happens when your husband leaves? What happens when you get laid off and are no longer this career person? Then what are you? That it why it is important to understand that you are your SOUL not your role. Find something that you LOVE. That you know you will love when you are 12, 30 or 75 because your soul identifies with it. (Beach, hot tea and reading). You will be able to say, “This is ME! It has nothing to do with the roles in my life, but makes my soul sing.” Bad times, good times all pass, but no matter what, roles come and go, And as long as I know what my soul needs, I will be fine.

4. A belief in Abundance. Scarcity tells us there is ONE pie. And if someone gets a big piece of the pie, then there isn’t enough for all of us. When a person is living in scarcity, they tend to tear others down. Those living in ABUNDANCE lift other women up especially  in public. The good news is that whether you live in scarcity or abundance, we are all jealous of each other. Shiny people feel jealous too. Their discipline though helps them counteract that because they know it isn’t true. They take action to make the feeling go away. They make it a practice to publicly praise whoever it is that is causing it and it slowly helps releases the jealousy. And then amazing things happen because when we lift each other up, we all rise together and connections are made. That is the law of abundance.

True of all the shiny women. Whether insanely famous or struggling to find their way.  None of them know what the hell they are doing. They are all scared to death all the time. They are doing the best they can. Plans don’t work for all of them. They are scared with every new thing that they try. We have this idea that brave, shiny people aren’t scared. And the idea that we have to be better before we get started with what we are put here on this earth to do, is a huge mistake. All we have to do here is ONE – We have to follow our dreams and TWO–  We have to serve our brothers and sisters.

There is no number 3. We don’t have to get better first, we just show up now, completely as we are.

We are all made of exactly the same stuff. The Shiniest people we know just practice these tiny daily disciplines. They relentlessly eliminate negativity and poisons easily and without much angst or thought. They get quiet often and only take orders from that inner voice. The know that they are a soul and they are not their role. They live with the idea of abundance and take every opportunity to lift others up, over and over. And finally they just show up scared.

 

OKAY!! Synopsis done. My ah-ha moment came because I realized that some people know more than me. I DO have a mental illness that at times can be toxic to those sensitive to it. And maybe my friend is just that, a sensitive person. I would much rather she let me go gently, then to hold me close and hate me for making her feel not at peace. After that realization, the rest of the video just sent light bulbs off all over the place. I am slowly starting to digest it all and can’t wait to watch more. I have really missed focusing on my personal growth lately. I have gotten busy with work and the holidays and more work, work, and work.

But what I learned today is that I can’t effectively lead others unless I live and breathe these five amazing disciplines. So again:

Be a Relentless Eliminator of Poison in your life

Take time each day to quietly listen to yourself

Know that your soul is more important than any role

Always believe in Abundance never scarcity.

Show up and do it Scared

So what do you think? You can let me know back on my Facebook page. I posted my favorite Ted Talks from Brene Brown and Glennon in the comments of that post as well. Thanks for taking this journey with me. Hopefully you had a few light bulbs go off as well. Much love!

xoxo – Kristin